Kate... uncensored.

Weekend ends

Sunday is almost at an end. I'm grateful for the reprieve the workweek will bring. He's so hopeful, yet so unable to talk, to hear me. He's so busy blaming himself, I don't think he can see past his past.

We'll be traveling to Washington D.C. next Sunday. I don't know yet whether this is a good thing or not. Our last conference jaunt was fraught with tears and yelling. Both on my part, of course. It was not a fun trip.

It will be hard to be on my best behavior. There's just something about hotels. Strangers in strange cities, lobby bars, big beds. I could go on, but well, perhaps it's best left in my fantasy head. Plus, when I have to travel with him, I inevitably have too much time on my hands.

Shuffle off to Buffalo

I've decided to leave Wednesday morning. I am gonna attempt to drive straight through to Western NY, but have places in mind I can crash with friends if I get too tired.

Court is Thursday evening, so if I do stay over somewhere Weds. night I'm still good time wise.

I'm a little nervous about doing it. I haven't driven that long of a distance by myself. I used to split trips from Buffalo to Denver, but I probably only did a third of the driving. My legs get jumpy so I'm sure I'll have to remind myself to get out and stretch, even if I don't need a bathroom or gasoline break. I feel a little nervous about it, and that aggravates me. Since last fall, I no longer feel ignorantly safe everywhere, and in my head, I worry that a woman driving alone is a target. I wish I had company but I'll survive. Besides, driving alone means I can sing at the top of my lungs as much as I want.

I have to pack things that somehow came down here and belong to one set of parents along with whatever I need myself while I'm there. I haven't exactly decided whom I'm staying with when, I guess I'm playing it by ear. No one knows I'm coming either, I'm not sure why, I guess I just don't feel like listening to objections about me driving from everyone. But I have a fall back plan in case no family can put me up.

Then there's the other matter. Ha, other. (Ok, yes, I know I'm not as funny as I am in my head.)
I don't think I'll call him when I'm there. I haven't told him I'll be home and I think I could effectively ignore him. However, everyone I know will be at work, and I know he has off certain days, so I have to find things to do to occupy my time. I don't know if I can resist the urge to see him.

Weekend's over...

Busy week up ahead of me, getting everything in order for the family visiting this next weekend.  Anxious about it, to say the least.

Newsflash - apparently, I'm driving to Johnson City, TN, Tuesday to take the husband to a meeting. Can you just feel the enthusiasm? I'm not pleased, we're going to have to stay overnight because of the schedule, and I'm not in the mood for a mini-road trip. Plus, I've not had to take a long car ride without Canadian Crack* since I left Buffalo. I'm wondering what the hell is IN Johnson City, TN?

Today I ran a bunch of little errands. One of which - getting the dog washed. Almost killed the groomer. They asked me to hold the dog down on the floor as I arrived to pick him up so they could finish cleaning his paws/trimming his nails. Not to sound like a crank, but there I was, all dressed up and in white pants no less. Yes, I know, he's my dog. Well, my husband's. But, I paid you to do this, and crawling on the floor to assist you is not part of the price. (There was another person there she could have asked to help her)

Trying to finish up a few last projects before I go to bed. Ha, like I ever go to bed at a normal hour...

*Canadian Crack - term of endearment for Tim Hortons Double Double Coffee

Argh Tennessee

Okay - there's a freeze on state travel. I can understand that. It's been in effect since last week Wednesday apparently.

However, canceling travel that's already been paid for seems to defeat the purpose.

My husband's organization is not state funded, and now they've lost the funds they budgeted and spent to register two people for the conference and to buy three airline tickets.

So, losing those couple hundred dollars makes financial sense?

Random remarks

This idea of surprising my parents for their anniversary with a vacation is not necessarily a good one. My sister is pushy, my brother is apathetic, and I can think of many people I'd rather travel with.

Finally got the name of the hotel we're staying at in Orlando from husband's board member - since he booked the reservations. I hope we can do dinner somewhere nice, but I'm hesitant, apparently this board member is not very fond of my husband. I hope there isn't too much tension.

Of all the time I've spent away from home, I've never missed Mother's day. I feel bad that I won't be there this year.    I'm hoping the flowers she's getting at work tomorrow will be a nice surprise.

Mother's day isn't one of my favorite days. I made cards because going to look at cards makes me cry every year. The mother-to-be cards and those for a first mother's day are enough to send me into a crying jag. At least this year I'm saved the anguish of saying no to the maitre'd when we go to brunch and they ask if I'm a mother. I can hide out at home and watch lame TV or something, being as moody as I want to be.

I'm starting to think about what to do when my family arrives on the 24th. We haven't explored much since we've been in town, so it will be nice to get out more. I know my Dad wants to tour the Hermitage, my mother wants to try some interesting restaurants and my sister plans on trying to hunt down Tim McGraw. I have to see what I can come up with for them to do.

Sister aggravation

My sister emails me Saturday. Telling me her and her husband were discussing my parents 30th anniversary next year and they want to plan a family vacation. This is one of her worse ideas.

In theory, a family vacation might be a nice idea. Planning it with her, not so much.

She and her husband were thinking of cruising next year anyway and thought we should all go. My parents have never been on vacation. The last time they went somewhere was their honeymoon. I'm not sure they'd be all into a cruise. My suggestion, if we wanted to cruise was that we went over to Europe, since my mother's dream has always been to go to Italy. We all get to vacation together, but we get a little out of it and Mom gets what she's always wanted.

My sister has her heart set on somewhere Caribbean. I even suggested other ideas, like all of us going to NYC, where my mom's never been. Or New Orleans, where my parents have wanted to go since they went there on their honeymoon. Basically she wants this vacation she had in her head, but wants us all to go, regardless of what the gift-receivers would want.

I'd rather spend more money and send them where they'd really like than pay for one parent each, try to worry about how my brother will save (since he doesn't make much money) and try to figure out what destination will make everyone happy.

But, I can't say anything, because once she gets something in her head...

Lord, give me patience. 

Comings and goings

Looks like my sister in law and her husband are coming to visit us this weekend. Ugh! I'd love to see them, but ahem, my place doesn't seem ready for company yet. I guess I have a lot of work to do in the next few days.

Also found out we're headed to Orlando for a few days in May. It's an in on Wednesday out on Friday deal, but I can get something done then while the husband is in meetings. I have to do some research to see what I can do/see in the short time I'm there. A board member of husband's organization is making the arrangements and traveling with us, so I don't know exactly how much time we'll have. Even still, I figure I can get in maybe a quick shopping trip, some time at the beach, or a nice dinner out.