Kate... uncensored

Quiet

It's rare for me to be quiet for long.  But I've felt a need for peace.  I'm not really getting any, but hey, a girl can dream. 

I've been seeing a new therapist.  Having to revisit old wounds is not my style, I do not like getting emotional in front of people.  I had such a rapport with my last counselor, we worked together for more than four years.   I never had to explain things, she knew those close to me by name.  I guess I was spoiled.  I found a therapist who "got" me; one who wasn't deterred by the humor I use to deflect from any personal pain.  A professional who knew I needed a certain level of trust, a specific exchange of thoughts before I truly felt comfortable.

I'm trying to get there with the new one, but at a time where I have no one else to turn to, getting  all worked up over past events is not helping.

So, I've been quiet.  A lot has been going on in my head, and out.  Just needed a step back, and a deep breath. 

And maybe a cupcake or a stiff drink. 

Process and Progress

Every day that passes, I wish more things were decided.

Went to our marriage counselor on Wednesday. Not sure we'll be going back. She was late and a bit less professional than I'm used to.

Things were said that helped to illuminate the other person's side of the story. I bit my tongue, I waited for her to urge him to talk. Not so much, though it was made apparent that issues from his first marriage permeate ours.

Part of me thinks, if we do this, we may be better off with individual counselors first. Another part of me wants to simply find someone who will tell me it's ok to leave; Or who will tell him he'll survive without me.