Kate... uncensored

Hit and run

Note to the ass who sideswiped my husband in the parking lot -
What type of scum hits a blind man and drives away? Oh, wait, you do. There are nice toasty corners of hell for people like you.

Apparently the guy swerved and Husband heard brakes, but got tapped and knocked off the curb. One of our neighbors was nice enough to run out and help him. He wasn't badly hurt, though we went to the ER to get him checked out. the guy whipped out of the parking lot, and the neighbor who helped didn't see anything. Obviously, my husband didn't either. I can't believe they didn't check on him. He uses his cane, and stays on one stretch of sidewalk, doesn't even cross a street to take out the trash. Does this person have a habit of jumping curbs?

Sometimes I hate people.

The wheels on the bus

The wheels on the bus go round and round, but the wheels on the AccessRide don't come here.

Don't know if the Metropolitan Transit Authority here in Nashville has any persons with disabilities on their board, but it's the first thing I wondered when I read this article.

Most people have a few transportation options when they travel to work. Sure, a lot depends on the distance. But walking, bicycling and driving are all out for my husband. Arranging to ride with someone is difficult when you know almost no one in town. Funny enough, many people don't think guide dog when they think carpooling.

Changing AccessRide should not be a way to reduce costs.

Gas is more expensive, and people are riding the bus. Is this the time to be cutting routes? In theory, with the rate hike and an increase in ridership, couldn't they somehow make up the difference?

And really, is it ever a good idea to limit access for those who cannot travel from their location or to their destination from a bus stop?

My husband now has to rely on a ride, he cannot get to work independently. For some people, this change means they aren't able to get to work, period.

The AccessRide service is not free, it is fee based. I realize they may need to increase costs, and that would prohibit some from taking the van service, but give riders the choice of paying more for their door-to-door ride before you discontinue it. For some people, it's their only option.

How much can I care?

I think a lot of us get caught up in our personal stories. We try, but our lives are so frenetic and we fail to see too far beyond ourselves. If we're lucky, we can keep up with the family, friends and other acquaintances we're keeping tabs on.

I consider myself informed. I watch and read news, from various sources. I talk to people and more importantly, listen to them.

I consider myself empathetic. But, as much as I try, I feel I can't muster enough emotion for all the world's disasters. I have always been a crier. I hear stories and I feel. I feel I can't feel anymore tragedy right now. Not unless, God forbid, it pertains to me personally.

I know hope this doesn't make me a bad person, I just think I need a break from the sadness and despair.

This is my first entry into Watercooler Wednesday.

Poor for two days

Back in Buffalo, there's a lot of hype about this little experiment.

Two days - and they fail. Two days where there's no utility worker turning you off. Two days with no real danger of losing your home.

Did these people see foreclosure papers? Face mounting medical bills because they lacked health insurance? I know they weren't forced to wait in line at the local food pantry to fill in what the budget wouldn't allow. That they didn't have to skip holidays because they got too expensive. They didn't cringe when they opened the mailbox.

I realize I didn't have it too bad. We were two people living on about a grand a month. To some people, that's a lot more than they have. But when we were hit with my husband's job loss, then my cancer diagnosis, it was just too much. We couldn't feasibly move, and we had a rent of almost $700 a month. Medications were astronomical, and while we eventually found some help, through Gilda's club & my docs, we still had a ton of medical bills. We made too much money per month to get help with our utilities or to qualify for any kind of assistance. Our families were not in a financial position to help us and we were running out of options.

We sold everything we could, we turned off our cable, phone, internet. All luxuries were gone. We didn't buy much in groceries, didn't go out. We drove one clunker into the ground and replaced it with the junk we have now.  The only new thing I remember buying were a couple scarves & hats, because I was too vain to be bald, I have an ugly head. (Thank goodness the American Cancer Society provides wigs for free) 

It was rough, but we survived. So many others don't. Our marriage, well, suffice to say it did suffer from the strain. We got as close as I ever want to get to poverty.   

Blogging against disablism

To read more about this event

While we all KNOW how wrong it is to discriminate against someone because of a disability, we know it happens everyday.

I'll admit, before meeting my husband, I was pretty ignorant to what life was like for people with disabilities. Yes, there are a great number of people who go out of their way to offer assistance & encouragement. But, I've seen just as many people who are cruel or rude.

We've had a few experiences that have hurt us. We try not to dwell on them. Well, he tries to get me not to. He's much more experienced at it, since he's lived with his disability for a lot longer than I have.

My eyes were really opened to this when he lost his job. When faced with a sighted person or a blind one, even when the blind one may have better skills, qualifications, experience, often the sighted person is chosen. It's not going out of the way to discriminate, it's ignorance at thinking a blind person needs more of the company's effort, money, time, energy, tools, care to do a task. He may, but to assume so is foolish and wrong.

For the most part, he can do anything a sighted person can do. He's even driven a car, though that was before my day - I'm not that crazy. He jokes he can do anything but fly a plane and buy a handgun.

I know sometimes, it's fear. I've seen it firsthand, my mother, upon meeting him for the second time, said "it's nice to see you again" and was terrified that she had offended him.

What frustrates me:

Servers at restaurants who ask me what he would like to order.

People who speak louder, as if that will make up for the lack of sight.

People who act as if I am a saint for marrying someone with a disability.

People who seem shocked when they hear my husband not only went to college, but to law school. Who are awestruck that he's been an attorney, became a teacher, runs a successful non-profit. I've even run across people who seem stunned that he works, period.

I like the people who ask questions out of curiosity, because educating someone is the only way to alleviate the fear. Not everyone will meet a blind person, but if their exposure is a positive one and they can take away something useful, great!

I'm sure this isn't the most inspiring post regarding disablism. I get outraged, but often lose my "shtem" (sorry another one of those made-up words my family uses) because I know, for the most part, people don't mean to be hurtful. There are times I have fought back against this, railed against the people who judge and those who enable hatred. Other times, I try to remember to support my husband and do as he does, quietly prove to those people how wrong they are.

He has spent his entire career helping people with disabilities, and especially those who've been discriminated against. He sees the worst of it, and still has faith that the world will improve. And when he isn't working, he volunteers his time. He takes individuals who become newly blind and gives them hope, encouragement, skills, an ally, a friend, a champion. He works with children, proving that you can do what you want, that your disability doesn't have to define you.

He is not broken. He is not handicapped. He is blind. Blind the way you may be tall, or blue eyed or brunette. It's a characteristic, but not a catch-all.

He is a man who constantly amazes me.