Kate... uncensored

My secret admirer

This post could be a continuation of the Craigslist Diaries, if I was so inclined.

I've debated about posting this, but decided enough time has passed to tell the story.

Just after posting these posts, I discovered something.  I was browsing around Craigslist and saw something, a post I thought maybe was directed at me.  I wasn't certain, but there was just enough there to prompt me to respond.  I emailed the address in the ad, and figured, worst case scenario, I outed myself to someone who wasn't looking for me.

But, this someone was looking for me.  

I received an email back, and we conversed through email and chatting - even spending an entire night doing so.  Part of the conversation was spent wondering "who?" and trying to figure that out by the small clues I was given. 

It wasn't too long until it was figured out, and I was just as interested then as I was in revealing his identity before. 

I'll admit, it's incredibly flattering to have someone go out of their way to get your attention.  This man could have emailed me (as several of you have done) or contacted me through another source, but he chose to be clever - and I find smart, clever men irresistible.

We made tentative plans to meet and continued to flirt and talk.  Unfortunately we didn't meet, as the morning we planned to I got some disturbing news, and soon thereafter things petered out.

I couldn't tell if it was the reality of meeting me and potentially starting an affair, (as he was a novice) or the let down after the initial excitement of "will she guess who I am?" / "who is he?".  It could have been that he wasn't attracted to me, or that he simply did have too much on his plate work wise.

I was disappointed, but looking on Craigslist led to a great deal of thinking about what I wanted and what I didn't want. In a roundabout way, that led to a lot of the changes going on now. 

In my head, it also contributed to other things in ways I couldn't possibly have imagined.

Craigslist Diaries continued

The email generated by the Craigslist ad led to a lot of email, amusement and aggravation.  I did take the time to respond to anyone who seemed genuine, mostly to be kind.  A response dismissing their interest seems fairer than letting them wonder.  Also stops some men from repeatedly asking "did you see my earlier email?"

I wonder if some men respond to so many ads that they can't see the forest from the trees.  They'd re-ask some of the basics covered in the ad - prompting me to think, pay attention. 

So few people can catch my interest.  Perhaps they craft a clever response, but beyond the first message, something is missing.   The back and forth suffers from a lack of creativity, or a tentativeness on their part, or from any number of things.  I think  for some guys, it can be a case of not knowing what to do with a response from an actual woman.  Sometimes, maybe, it's just what was a good idea at one point, seems less desirable upon further inspection.  I'm not about to pull someone into uncomfortable territory. 

There were some playful messages, even a couple of flirtatious phone calls.  But nothing of substance.  Not enough chemistry and interest for me to consider taking another step, and I'm too blunt to let that lay quiet.  I need a certain level of intrigue and a healthy dose of imagination.  I need fun, and passion, and heat.  If you can't convey some of that from the get go, it will never be a success.

So, this post was a bust, but you never know what Craigslist could lead to.

The Craigslist Diaries

For me, insomnia + sex deprivation = prowling online.  I have blogs I read, I have porn I watch, but I repeatedly come back to read the hilarity that is the personals over at Craigslist.

Now I'm sure there's been some found missed connections there and that perhaps someone discovered a lifetime love amidst the ads.  But, as some of you know, there is a lot of craziness. 

I am not a CL virgin.  I've read a lot and answered a couple.  I've written an ad before.  I deleted about 2 minutes later, but it still counted.  This weekend though, I decided to write one & see what transpires.

Insert your collective groans and eye rolls here.

There's lots of thoughts at play here.  Am I actually looking?  Do I want to start something knowing how much I already have going on?  If I find a sexual outlet will I let things continue at home?  Will resuming a sex life only prove to remind me how much I'm missing out on? 

I could analyze it, but it was late and I had written something and published the ad before I thought it through.  There's always the "I can delete the whole mailbox" thought, but come on.  I am a curious girl by nature, you know at the very least that I'll read what comes in.

And I did. 

Flagged about three hours after it was posted.  Republished later to find the same thing.  Apparently the flaggers on the Nashville version are vigilant.  I contemplated all the reasons that I could have been "marked" and decided on the simplest.  Spam to reality ratio there is outrageous and most of the ads directed at men are linked to porn, spammers and other junk.

Still, for a short amount of time, my posted ad got what I thought to be an inordinate amount of email.  Note that the following includes first emails only, where they've received no feedback from me.

Number of pictures cropped to include only the male anatomy: 32
Number of guys who thought it "respectful" if the shot included said anatomy inside underwear: 2
Number of guys who mentioned that though they did not send one, they could do so upon request: 10

Percentage of emails who started the email with "Hi my name is..." or some such, only to have it signed with another name: 20
(Which doesn't include the ones whose outgoing mail names don't match. Note: if you're using a fake name, I understand.  Just try to remember it)

Requests for topless shots: 12
Requests for phone numbers: 4
Requests to meet them within 24 hours or less: 3

Percentage of emails which were almost unintelligible because of grammar, spelling and syntax errors: 10 (and I'm being generous here folks)

At home, there's at least a few people I could go to and reasonably proposition to take the edge off. Here, none.  I'm not really the one night stand type, I don't hang out places you pick up people to fuck.  I know, I'm a woman, I could fairly easily go and get laid, but that defeats the purpose.  It isn't what I want, it is in no way desirable.

 Okay, I fantasize about anonymous sex, so slightly desirable, but not going to happen.

Oh, and my husband is at a hotel bound conference this upcoming weekend.  Do I need good girl distraction or bad girl action?