Shock and balls

Funny how you can know someone and at the same time be surprised by them.  Some people don't seem to have the ability to shock you.  Perhaps you know them too well, or maybe you can predict the things they'll do or say before they have the ability to do or say them.

After a late night text saying "I love you!" and the inevitable analyzing that brings, I decide to suck it up and email him.  I don't have much of a voice these days, and I think I need the chance to review what I'm saying rather than blurting it via voice mail.

(And what is it about being able to write what you cannot bring yourself to voice?)

In reply, Wednesday, I get an email from the Other.  Talks about everything under the sun.  Everything except the text he sent me last Friday night.  Somewhere in the context of this email is a thinly veiled invitation to have a threesome with him and new girlfriend.

Yes, in my head I hear tires screeching.  I feel a sense of whiplash as I go back and re-read the last part of his email. 

I'm not sure many men would have the balls to broach such a topic.  Sure, thinking and fantasizing about a threesome with your current girlfriend and a woman you still consider a friend who never really gave herself a label. 

But, really? 

Sure, I'm a very open woman.  I've never hid from you my predilections, you're well aware of my interest in women and my willingness to bring in the right third person if enough thought is put behind it.  We talked about other women plenty of times and I teased you about it. 

But, REALLY?

You know I still care about you.  We can both ignore it and I can act perfectly normal hearing about your new woman.  I can hold in my comments when you tell me about her past, her present.
I can pretend I wasn't hurt when you admitted you were drunk when you sent the text, whatever that means. 

But, Other, really?!

I did call to respond to that email, but got voice mail and couldn't bring myself to leave a message.  He's lucky I'm so far away, and I can't figure a way to slap him across the face from so far south. 

Oddly enough, that was not my only offer of group sex that day...