A brothers choices

I've given so much thought lately to the choices we make versus those that seem made for us. The majority of the things we do, I believe we do of our own volition. We may not want to do them. We do them anyway.

I've been thinking of my kid brother as well. He's at a weird stage. He will turn 23 this Saturday. He works as a bartender, at a bar that used to be real popular back home, and kind of fizzled out after the owner changed the name and menu. That change has put him in the financial position of having to wonder what else is out there.

He's been dating his girlfriend for almost 5 years - with some small breaks here and there. One of these breaks was recently, after they drove down here to move me to Nashville. Now they are back together again. I'm not sure who initiated the reconciliation, but I wonder if it's merely a case of anything is better than being alone.

He and the girlfriend had a bad car accident a few years back, and he never really recovered from that. A bad head injury altered his personality, and a hip replacement as a 19th birthday gift left him different in a way I can't quite explain. The girlfriend's father died later that year. I think, in their case, that those tragedies bonded them together.

He didn't do well in college, he only has a few semesters under his belt. After his accident, he never quite got back into school. He has worked for his current job for a couple years, never did much before that. He lives at home, has no car and is struggling. He seems lost, floundering. 

He doesn't think he can get a better job. Knows how hard it is to find a job in that area, has no experience at anything else, is used to working bar hours, etc. He's full of excuses, when I wonder if he's merely afraid of making a choice.

I know he is scared. He wants a different life, but he isn't sure how to get there. He wants more, better, but doesn't seem to want it enough to do something. It breaks my heart to hear him so despondent.