Kate... uncensored.

Life is miserable

I'm fed up. I fixed the problem with the NYS tax people. I am trying to recitify the two speeding tickets I have obtained. I think Easter weekend must have been the NYS Troopers quota weekend. Both for 15 mph over within the course of three days. This is of course, hysterical to me since I am the slowpoke of the road. I have to wonder, was it the rental car? Was it the fact that I was and am completely distracted by my personal life and the upheaval surrounding it.

I thought a trip home would be a nice break. The Other and I spent some time together, but we're both wrapped up in our personal circumstances. And he decided to swear off sex, because all it did was complicate things. Of course. All I needed was someone to listen, but I couldn't talk. I was so preoccupied with the desire to be naked with him, and his distance made it impossible for me to open up.

It's been about 8 weeks now, and I'm torn. In love with the Other, trying to settle things with the Husband and wanting to let go and have a release. Not able to be with either physically, I'm worried my old ways will resurface. 

I'm tired of all the confusion. I'm wanted here, when I don't want to stay. But guilt and obligation and other circumstances are keeping me here. My friend Regal wants me to stay with him, but I have reservations about that. The Other offered me to stay, but he's so caught up with being heartbroken, he can't tell he's breaking mine. Plus, going back to NY has so many things associated with it. No one understands what's going on and judgment is being passed. I have no idea what I'd do there.

Shoes, Glorious Shoes

Okay, two cities, two malls and a number of independent stores later, I FINALLY found yellow pumps. I can't say these will get a ton of use, but I wanted them and was determined to find some for with my new dress. Not that many people even noticed them, but I was happy to have them.

Etienne Aigner Marta. They're pretty, a sunny (not gold like the pic) yellow leather with pleats.

Funny how when I'm scattered I can focus on something so silly, and finding it can make me pleased.

A trip to Whole Foods

I ventured to the Whole Foods over in Green Hills. While I wasn't so fond of the actual layout of the store. (Or to be honest, my total, though that's my own fault) I was so glad to be in a quality grocery store. I miss Wegmans.

I was pleased with their produce and their meat selections, though I did think they were "missing" a few things. The bakery section was the biggest surprise. Had to come back the long way. Really wish I could learn my way around better, I hate being reliant on the GPS.

Bad Cookies

I didn't feel like going over to Whole Foods, so when I ran into Kroger for milk, I was assaulted by a middle aisle display. I bought these.

Why? I am not sure. They aren't organic, and we know anything that has hydrogenated or high fructose is not coming near me, yet I felt compelled to buy them.

I guess I should be grateful that the whole package was eaten by my husband before I could get into them.

Can someone please tell me why?

I had my last cordless phones for years. Never seemed to have a problem getting them to keep a charge. One got smashed by my mother in law during her manic kitchen pack off. The other died in the move apparently. When we unpacked it and plugged it in, nothing, changed batteries, nothing.

I bought two at target, cheap but not cheapest. Just standard Uniden, no answering machines, but if I forget to place them in the cradle - which happens often - they die.

And always MID-conversation. And since the only corded phone is next to the bed, I never get there before the beeping turns to dead air. So frustrating.